


Jingle Bells

by MidoriKurenaiYume



Series: Winter Wonderland [4]
Category: Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bickering, Dialogue, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-24 01:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16630271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidoriKurenaiYume/pseuds/MidoriKurenaiYume
Summary: Gilgamesh has no mercy, not even when talking about movies.





	Jingle Bells

**Author's Note:**

> New one-shot in the winter/Christmas series.  
> Based on when I punched my brother in the nose when we were kids. It was completely accidental, or so I told my parents later. He did eat all the cookies I had just learned how to bake, so I was totally justified.  
> Hope you enjoy! :D  
> ([here](https://agilartlogbook.tumblr.com/post/180513551735/jingle-bells) on tumblr)
> 
> Title: from a Christmas song that was also sung by Kalafina (and is on their album 'Winter Acoustic ~ Kalafina with strings').  
> THEME: impishness/playfulness.

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“There _have_ to be some movies you enjoy. Complete indifference is impossible.”

Gilgamesh huffed, clearly unmoved.

“I never talked about indifference – I said _disdain_.”

But Arturia wasn’t going to give up so easily, and began to test his claim.

“Superhero or action movies?”

“Unrealistic.”

“Historic movies?”

“Inaccurate.”

“Science fiction movies?”

“Boring.”

“Fantasy genre?”

“Soporific.”

“Romantic comedies?”

“Silly and dull.”

“Horror stories?”

“Cheap.”

“Crime series?”

“Repetitive.”

“Dramas?”

“Useless.”

She was beginning to lose her patience.

“ _Period_ dramas?”

He looked bored.

“Always anachronistic.”

Arturia seemed more frustrated than angry at this point, and Gilgamesh piled it on by adding, “Most movies do have the merit of being better than a sedative, though I would debate them being _healthier_.”

It was clear that her levels of annoyance had just skyrocketed.

“Sports movies?”

This time he conceded, “Slightly more interesting than the rest, but pointless.”

She was slowly beginning to lose hope to make him admit that there was at least _something_ good in the entertainment industry.

“Kids or high school movies?”

“Too immature and patronizing, respectively.”

The look she threw him was downright murderous.

“Now that’s rich, coming from you, Gilgamesh.”

He seemed only slightly fazed by her comment, but the mere fact that he was affected was already a small victory.

“It’s true,” he made a point of repeating it. “They treat seventeen-year-olds as if they were seven-year-olds in those movies. There is condescension in that.”

“You are indeed the expert in that,” she dryly agreed, one of her eyebrows marginally raising when he gave her a pointed look.

“In any case,” she continued, something close to satisfaction appearing in her tone, “to have such precise opinions on such movies, you must have seen all of the genres I just mentioned.”

He could not refute that and nodded, but he did look rather haughtily displeased at having to admit that she had guessed right.

She wasn’t done yet. “This means that you wasted a lot of time on these movies. It’s hard to believe that it was just in order to _test their genre_.”

He did not have a scathing remark this time, and she couldn’t help relishing the new small victory, even though she decided she had to be fair.

“I don’t necessary like all the genres I listed either, Gilgamesh,” she told him slowly. “Romantic comedies, for example, are filled with too many ridiculous absurdities to be taken seriously.” Unconsciously, her nose scrunched up a bit. “Like when they fill the house with flowers in order to propose or something like that. It can be considered romantic, I suppose, but it’s mostly just unsettling.” Her eyes held a rather comically serious look. “Flowers belong on trees or out in the fields – they don’t deserve to be cut off and scattered on the floor.”

Gilgamesh wasn’t usually one to suppress his emotions, but he was forced to fight against a fit of hysterical laughter that was about to escape him. If he laughed, Arturia would lose the last of her patience and march away; since he wasn’t ready to give up her company, he didn’t plan to alienate her.

She seemed to get a grip over her wandering thoughts as she turned to stare at him again.

“If there aren’t any movies that are able to catch your interest, what about music?”

Gilgamesh pondered over the question, taking his time even as Arturia visibly became impatient because of his prolonged silence.

When he saw that she was about to speak again, he finally uttered, “I expect it may depend on the genre.”

It was a lie, since he had no interest in music either, but if she was aware of it, she didn’t show it and instead presented another list of many different kinds of music, from classical to all pop and rock genres, from country to lyrical, from heavy metal to rap. Without any apparent effort, Gilgamesh bombarded her with his disparaging and unhelpful criticism no matter what she said.

Once it was clear that her exasperation had reached its limit, Arturia eventually asked, “Is there something, anything, that you _do_ like about music?”

He contemplated his answer for an unbelievably long amount of time, his eyes resting a heavy gaze on her, which made her stiffen in spite of herself.

However, he then looked away and mumbled under his breath, “What I never find unacceptable is silence.”

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When the next day someone was bold enough to inquire after the red mark on his nose, he obviously refused to answer, and pretended to ignore the slightly smug look Arturia threw his way as he settled down, at Irisviel’s innocent request, to watch a rather disgustingly romantic period drama with them.

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